My Favourite T in the Park Performances

Never go to a festival when you're already sick - even if you did pay £200 for the ticket. Because when you get back you'll be a blob of a person. A blob of a human being, who can no longer form a proper blog post, and instead coughs and sneezes on her keyboard.

So today, this blog post is brought to you by a cop out of youtube videos and a couple of captions. Because I think my laptop just short circuited from all the snot.

1. BEN HOWARD - NOW AND FOREVER

I was almost tempted to just post Ben Howard five times and call it a list, but great journalism means not dry humping Ben Howard's leg 24/7. So all I will say is that at the front of that massive crowd, is me crying like a baby making wolf noises, while crying out 'WHY AREN'T I HAVING A THREESOME WITH YOU AND YOUR GUITAR BEN HOWARD?!'

Yes,  this probably did make my boyfriend uncomfortable.

2. Bombay Bicycle Club

Everyone goes on and on about how great these guys are live, and it's really annoying how right everyone was.

This performance holds a special place in my heart because half way through their set my face was up on the big screen. Great music and having my vanity stroked equals a good performance all around.

3. Amy McDonald

Funny story, I actually wanted to go Two Door Cinema Club at this time but standing on my own at the NME stage was too scary. Instead I hid away in the safety of the King Tut tent where this lady happened to be playing. And it was awesome.

For an hour and half I actually thought I was Scottish. I even sang with the accent.

4. Snow Patrol

Until you've sang in time with thousands of other people, you've never lived. Literally everyone at that festival sang a long, I'm pretty sure Scotland itself was singing a long. And it felt really special, I got a girly tingle in my uterus and everything.

5. Alabama Shakes

When you see Alabama Shakes come onto stage, and you've never seen them before, it can be a little surprising. You see Brittney Howard and the last thing you think is 'rock star'. But then she plays the guitar and she makes that instrument her bitch, and then she sings and makes your ears her bitch, and you realise - holy fuck, everyone with the last name Howard is amazing.

Which just proves that unless I marry Ben Howard, and become Mrs. Howard, I won't be a complete person. Fact.

Obviously there were other amazing performances at the festival, but these ones really stuck out for me. If I could find a decent video of J Cole, I would probably put that up there too. American Rappers - they just go for it, you know? But hey, if any of you guys made it down to T in the Park, or watched the BBC broadcast, let me know in the comments who was your favourite act?


Unless you want to say Nicki Minaj, because that shit you keep to yourself. 

Why I Won't Be Watching The Voice

I can’t remember when I first became aware of The Voice, it now seems like one media-blitzing-blur. Some believe the buzz behind The Voice started around the time that Jesus guy popped his clogs for the second time and all his disciples cried ‘WE NEED A  MESSIAH!’ In many ways, I think The Voice would have us believe this too. There’s no denying their knight in shining armour approach to TV, the black and white way in which they tackle the Cowell shaped problems surrounding talent shows. In a very romanticised way The Voice is the good guy fighting the evil Simon Cowell. With his makeovers and sob stories, Cowell is the Lex Luther to The Voice’s Superman, the Gary to its Ash Ketchum, the Joker to its Batman, and so on and so forth.  The question is how much of this do we really buy?

Tom Jones is looking more and more like a young Santa with a bad spray tan - a San-tan HAHAHA!

My answer would be very little of it. The problem with The Voice is that for all the buzz, it’s turned out to be just that – buzz. And annoying drone that is easily faded out with something more... substantial.  Maybe this is just my problem, but with all the hype I expected it to be more than just a buzz, it expected a POW, a BOOM, or at the very least a VIOLA! I expected contestants to sing in darkness and then be revealed with glitter and fireworks and for the whole UK to be exclaiming on Facebook – ‘Did you see that?! It was a set of conjoined twins singing the whole time! That second head can really beat box!’

What we have instead is four judges, one of which is only referred to as ‘that Irish guy from The Script’, sitting on chairs and swivelling around like four Bond villains set of repeat. Swivelling chairs, this is the revelation. This is the messiah. Somehow this isn’t what I pictured.

The problem I have with the The Voice – the REAL problem, is that with the swivelling chairs aside, it is just another singing competition. In thousands of years historians will look back at shows like The Voice, X Factor, Pop Idol, and assume that music requires one good singer and that all the songs, instruments, producing, are done magically by elves. This we know isn’t the truth, I mean, just look at Calvin Harris. The man couldn’t sing Happy Birthday in tune, yet produces amazing music. Not because he’s a great singer, but because he’s a MUSICIAN.

Now I’m not naive, I know that Cheryl Cole and Britney Spears couldn’t write, play, and produce a song between them. I’m not suggesting that the charts are filled with nothing but people like Ben Howard. But there is variation. Next to JLS is Ed Sheeran, two different artists with different talents. Both can sing, one can write songs and the other can dance – in sync, kinda.

We need a variation in talent not appearance. For all The Voice’s subtle hints that they’re the good guys because they’ll let a thirty stone woman on the show because she can sing, even if they have to fork lift her onto the set; they seem to forget that Cowell crossed this bridge years ago with Susan Boyle. Not only did he cross it, he did it in style – 15 million album sales and Boyle’s net worth of £11.9 million. We already know that image isn’t everything. We’ve already seen what a truly good voice is worth.

But maybe it was best left unseen.

What we haven’t seen is a show that puts emphasis on music, I mean music in its entirety. Now maybe I’m being ignorant, maybe this show has come and gone, maybe it’s already out there on Sky. But if I am ignorant, then this show hasn’t gone the distance, and we need a MUSIC show to explode and fill out screens with a variety of talent. I want not The Voice, but The Music. I want to see people do mini-mixes with their laptops and decks, I want drum solos, guitar riffs, a string quartet, AS WELL AS people singing their hearts out. I don’t want people selling sob stories about their Nan dying and her last words being ‘BECOME FAMOUS... BUY A FARARII... BE ON THE COVER OF HELLOOOOoooo...’ If there are to be sob stories, I want them to be about a drummer looking for a great bassist, a guitarist looking for some kick ass vocals. I want it to be about MUSIC!

And sadly, I don’t think The Voice can provide that. Maybe when that Jesus guy returns...


What I'll be watching instead: